| It's not often that I get the oppurtunity to destroy something beautiful for something ugly, and yet every time that oppurtunity presents itself I end up taking it. Fuckin Shit. |
| |
| The people you don't give a shit about always care entirely too much about you, and the people you'd die for never really seem to give a shit. First explanation, I simply want what I don't have. This goes along the lines of all of my previous trains of thought in which I end up blaming myself for being a genuinely bad person and accept the fact that I do generally bad things. New website, new blog, new name, new explanation. This blog is to say fuck you to the world. Why? Because noone knows it exists...great idea huh? So first person of problem we'll refer to simply as A. A is my ex-girlfriend, and my roommate. Whoa, weird huh? It's hell. It's impossible for her to get out of her head that we're not together anymore. She likes that at times, but the fact that she has no control over me drives her fuckin bonkers. Next problem is B. God I love B. I could take B somewhere far off and completely take care of her for the rest of her life. I've emptied my wallet to her, I've gotten her a job, I completely put her at the top of my world because I was completely infatuated. B doesn't give a shit at all. She never has and she never will. For all I know she's been using me this whole time and none of it was real. This realization completely cheapens and numbs me to the point of freezing. It's so hard to look at someone whom you have so much emotion for and understand how they can't feel a god damn thing. It feel fake and forced and all I want to do is get her away from me, I don't want to have to be exposed to her because it hurts. This is exactly what she said she wanted to avoid but it couldn't be so now I wish hse'd just see that and break my heart one last good time so I can move on. Because even now there's nothing more I want to do then be with her and sleep beside her and god damn fuck the shit out of her. THat hasn't happened yet much to my dismay but jesus, do you ever know that sex with a certain person and yourself would be really good, you just can't talk the other person into it? Story of my life. This is entirely too long and in depth for a first post so I'll quit, but I feel better so fuck the world. |
| |